Smells like trouble in Benihana

It seems Tori Spelling of all people has decided to take on the giant of Japanese steakhouses, Benihana. Spelling has now settled a personal injury suit she filed after she was allegedly burned watching her chef flip cutlery and eggs into the air with remarkable dexterity.

Spelling’s legislative success comes after what appears on the surface to be a complete accident. In 2015, she slipped in a Benihana restaurant and in the process of falling, she grabbed a nearby grill (poor choice, Tori, the ground would have been kinder to you). The result was a trip to the hospital and a skin graft after it was discovered she had second- and third-degree burns on her right arm.

For some reason, all of this, it was decided, was Benihana’s fault. The famous restaurant that has been flinging Japanese food skyward since 1964 has been found liable for damages since a burn on Ms. Spelling’s arm apparently harmed her earning potential. Exactly what that potential was at this point, is all speculation. Perhaps she might have made a better wristwatch model otherwise.

Benihana was also on the hook for hospital expenses, medicine, and “general damages,” whatever that means.

The exact amount of the settlement hasn’t been released, but it’s likely to have been a bundle. Personal injury lawsuits tend to work in bundles. It’s almost enough to make you want to run out and fall on a Benihana grill just to get a piece of that personal injury pie, or steak in this case.

The money will come in good stead, surely, since Tori Spelling has had notoriously bad luck with holding onto her money. The former 90210 star, and reality star, has had her troubles, to put it mildly. Those troubles were bad enough that her father, Aaron Spelling, who created much of the best-loved trash television of the ‘70s, ‘80s, and ‘90s, left her $800,000 out of his $600,000,000 fortune. Remember to be kind to your parents, folks. Especially if they’re worth that kind of money.

Though $800,000 seems like a lot on its own to most of us, it doesn’t go far in the land of annual plastic surgery visits to keep up with the cutthroat competition for those wristwatch catalog modeling jobs.

We’ll have to hope that Benihana has been more generous than Tori’s father and put her in a better way for the future. Ms. Spelling has a young child named Beau to think about, and we wouldn’t want her crashing into Pottery Barn shelves or throwing IKEA furniture upon herself in a desperate attempt at a future income.

So, let’s hope Benihana has treated Tori well for the time being. And while we’re at it, let’s all help restore some of that lost Benihana income and get some lunch, shall we?